Do you notice yourself saying or feeling,
"I don't have time!"
"Things are really busy (crazy) right now!."
"I am overwhelmed."?
This is a belief that is coming up for myself and my work with clients. For me, what it means is that as my practice is getting busier, its easy to fall into the entrepreneurial overwhelm and not making it a priority to take care of myself. For my clients, it is a problem because when they are in pain, the cost of not making the time is pretty high.
Life is busy - I get it! Work and projects take up a big part of your day. And if you have children, then your day revolves around them. Between all of these, there’s enough stakes on time. Its easy to feel overwhelmed.
The Overwhelm strategy does have its payoffs
Lets face it though - overwhelm isn't a cold that's floating in the air that you and I can get and have to suffer through. ;) There definitely is an upside to this victim mentality. It allows us to not own and control our experience. The feeling is that we can get away by saying "We're overwhelmed" but we pay the price for not making the time for things that really shape our present and future.
Do you really not have time? Or is it that you just haven’t prioritized your self care, in your mind enough, that every time you have the opportunity for it, you manage to find something else to do. I don't know about you but I have definitely caught myself in many of those moments!
You find yourself conveniently distracted by your smart phone and get busy ordering that new bicycle for your child or looking for flights for your next family vacation or you need to shop for groceries, cook food this minute.
Or you're so tired from the mental chatter of your to do lists without getting to them! And you just want to give yourself some reprieve and your instantly available friend - the smart phone will have an endless stream of entertainment for you. ;)
I’m not saying that these To Do lists aren't important, friend. They absolutely are. But do they have to get done, right now this minute, this time that you could be taking care of yourself? And if you do, can you block another time as a sanctuary for yourself?
What do you need to do to keep your to do list or gadgets from sabotaging you? Do you need to write them down and give them a place and time on your calendar so you can satisfy your gremlins the next time they try to sabotage you? Or is it something else you need to do?
Let’s think of it another way. If you had all the time to take care of yourself, and you were no longer in pain, what would you do?
Would you exercise or begin taking walks with your friend or spouse? Would you travel? Would you take your child to the park more often? Would you sleep better and have more energy through the day? Would you socialize more? How would that change the quality of your life?
Take control of your time story
Do you feel that self-care has been pushed off your daily routine by some other things ? Are you ready to take control of your time in an actionable way? Take 10 minutes to work through this exercise.
- The Deep Want: What do you want beyond the pain or challenge you're having? (Refer the section just above this). Keep asking 'so what' to each response to really get to your deep, deep wants. This is your bigger story, that you use to bring yourself back on purpose.
- The Obstacles: What's in your way? Write down all your obstacles. Is it the mental chatter, the to do lists, the time constraint?
- The Action: What action will you take to resolve them? Who would you have to become to have what you want? Only write whats doable for YOU, not someone else.
- The Support: What support do you need to do to have it? How will you get that support from friends, family, yourself?
- Schedule: schedule your action items. Remember, it's not real until you schedule it! As you implement, make notes of what works, what doesn't and how you can refine your actions and your calendar.
Ready to make it happen? Like my best friend Sarie says, “MAKE IT HAPPEN, CAP'N!”!
I would love to know what you did to prioritize your self care! Have other advise that worked for you? Please share in the comments.
In next week's blogpost, I will talk about putting yourself first in the context of some real and transformational examples of clients.