School opened after ten days of snow closures. When I made it to school, I met a friend that lives a mile away from our home. They hadn't had electricity for 3 days!!!
Their house was a freezing. They had been huddling by the fire to keep warm. On the second night, they had found a hotel for a night. I was surprised and couldn't comprehend why they hadn't reached out.
They came over to our house later that day. Our children are the same age and they had the best time playing around, giggling, snuggling up together for bedtime. Our friends and us finally found the space to connect with each other and had some heartwarming conversations.
We all shared a Valentine's treat with heart chocolates and marzipan, my friend had brought for everybody! It was the most unconventional and sweetest Valentine celebration we had as two families!
I reflected back on why they hadn't reached out earlier. Was it the assumption of giving trouble to others? Was it that I hadn't occurred to her? Or the idea of help hadn't occurred to her? Or perhaps help is something we all reserve as the last resort for the worst survival kind of circumstances?
I reflected back on times when I've been so wrapped up in my troubles, it didn't even occur to ask for help. The atomistic lifestyle of 'being on my own' has showed up as a habit for me for sure.
Is there an under the surface stigma associated with seeking help for you? Is there a connection between seeking help and opening oneself to being judged and not understood?
Does that make us a 'less than' and perhaps deprive us of the reward of not 'making it on our own'? Has getting help become too much of a last resort for us?
Whatever it was, the reality of our mutual experience was far from that. As we opened our home to them, they gave us the opportunity to slow down, sit, talk, connect.
I used the opportunity to be a little imperfect. I welcomed them to my not perfectly clean house, a meal cooked with warmth and not perfection and a not so perfect guest bedroom, which my friend has named the 'Black Hole Suite' as an invitation to retrieve deep into a space so far away, it provided her the gift of sound sleep.
My teacher Jeff Haller, says that a good Feldenkrias lesson is one in which the practitioner receives as s/he is giving to the client. He goes on to say that the hallmark of a good lesson is that both practitioner and client arrive at a place they have never been before.
They arrive there because they took the leap into the not knowing. The practitioner lets go off the idea of delivering perfectly known processes and outcomes. The practitioner embraces unpredictability and the lesson evolves from a mutual listening and quite conversation and trust between two nervous systems.
They both are intelligent givers and receivers. None is superior or better or the teacher. They both are students in this journey of giving and receiving at the same time.
Would you be open to giving another, the opportunity to support you and receive at the same time?
Do you have some beliefs about seeking help? What are they? Are they entrenched in past history that makes it hard to let go? What happens in your mind, as you even consider the suggestion of seeking support a bit earlier than you might have? Or perhaps, in areas that you might not have looked for support?