Better sleep isn’t just about your mattress!

If you’ve been in chronic pain, you know the frustration of trying to get a good night’s sleep.

• you've swapped out your mattress, wondering if the new one (a bit more firm or plush? Purple? Tempur-Pedic? Sleep Number?) might finally do the trick.

• your bed has become a fortress of body pillows and props.

• the breathing apps and essential oils are a hit or miss in settling your mind

• you toss and turn because you aren’t comfortable in one position for very long. Maybe your shoulders go numb, or your hip or back starts to ache.

• sleeping in hotels beds gets your back achy.

Sound like you?

Why do “better mattresses” and pillow setups still not solve the sleep issue

While body pillows, mattresses and breathing apps could be the beginning of sleep awareness, they often miss a key ingredient in getting a good night’s rest: your body’s own dynamic ability to receive support from the surface you’re on.

When we lie down in bed, there are two surfaces interacting with each other.

There’s the mattress meeting you and there’s you meeting the mattress. The mattress offers a softer support than the ground but is mostly static at any given moment.

Why can’t your body just “relax into bed” and what to do about it

You, on the other hand, are dynamic. You have surfaces - your pelvis, ribs, shoulders, and legs that can adapt to the bed beneath you. But only if…
…your ribs haven’t become one rigid block from accumulated muscle tension, instead of being supple and able to move independently.
…your shoulders aren’t so stiff that they stick out and ache under the weight of your torso, instead of shape-shifting to support you.
…you’re not holding so much tension in your back that it can no longer release into the bed.

Good news is that you can start releasing the unnecessary tension and cultivate a supple body that is adaptable to a variety of sleeping surfaces. One of the ways I help clients do this is through slow, gentle movements that soothe the nervous system.

For example, if someone is a side sleeper, I might guide them through a rolling movement to help them sense and organize different parts of their torso. If they’re a back sleeper, we might explore movements that release tension in the hip joints, shoulders and back. These movements are deeply calming to the nervous system and help restore your body’s natural suppleness.

What changes will you notice when your body gets better at relaxing in bed?

Here are some common shifts and reflections from clients I hear, when their body becomes better at receiving support from the bed…

• “My back isn’t so arched and tight”. When they lie down, their body just relaxes into the mattress instead of holding on to the tension.

• “I slept comfortably on the hotel bed and didn’t wake up with a stiff back”. Their own spine and ribs were resilient enough to adapt to the mattress and it didn’t need to be exactly a certain type or firmness.

• “I think I need a thinner pillow now” because they’ve released tension in the neck.

• “I feel calm and composed in a way I’ve never felt before.”

• “I’m able to sleep on my left side and my shoulder doesn’t hurt”. This happens because their upper back and ribs are able to melt into the mattress so their shoulder isn’t sticking out, getting numb.

You’re no longer propping yourself up against the mattress.

Isn’t sleep just about calming your mind?

Here’s the part that’s even more mind opening: when you’re tight in your body, you’re tight in your mind. You can’t truly relax. When you release unnecessary body tightness with nervous system based healing, you also release mental tension. When you let go of that muscle tension, you can finally rest. Your system is able to recognize when you’re no longer upright, and the muscular effort needed for standing and moving through the day is let go.

You become less sensitive to what mattress you’re sleeping on. That speaks to something important: the adaptability of your own body, rather than relying solely on external solutions for restful, pain-free sleep.

If you find yourself up at 2am often, jockeying for the right position in your bed, reach out at this contact form and I’ll contact you shortly to help you find the best way forward.